Putting the Tender into Tendency

The titles can’t all be winners folks.

Listen, I write a lot of weird shit. Some of it is exactly what you’re looking for. The exact level of heat you want, makin’ you exactly as sweaty as you signed up for. (Including not sweaty at all.)

Or the exact expressions of gender and person that tickles the pickle or floats the boat.

But how do you find what you’re in the mood for right now? Lemmie help you out, comrade!

By reclaiming the corporate and the familiar, I’m gonna drop you some visual cues to help you sort out what you’re looking for! (Don’t worry, the blurbs also cover the info if color and patterns aren’t great for you!)

First, The Heat

I hate ambiguity, tbh. I mean, I love it as a literary technique, but not in basic communication between peeps. So if I tell you ‘this book is sexy’ and we have different ideas of what sexy is, we might risk souring our relationship as writer and reader based on a misunderstanding. I don’t want that.

So I did some research on communicating these ideas. And TBH, there’s a lot of ambiguity out in romance land as to what’s steamy, what’s erotic romance, what’s not? And you’ll see people drawing clear lines where others might not bother. The best luck to draw up some categories I’ve seen come from review sites, which makes a lot of sense to me. A lot of them break things up in around five parts, and so I digested a bunch of lists and came up with my own opinion. Anyway, point is, these are MY heat levels. They track pretty close to what some people’s opinions, but differ in a few places. (Some reviewers, for example, lump a lot of queer sex as inheriantly kinky or BDSM-y and I’m just not here for that. Women being dominant or Why Choose poly stuff doesn’t register as high to me as it might to others. Bisexuals aren’t uniquely fetishists, yanno? :D

Can you use my categories for your own writing? Yes. Especially if it’s to normalize normal adults having normal adult relationships that aren’t inherently fetishistic or just because they’re uncommon!

This story is sweet: Expect to feel warm and fuzzy. Intimacy is expressed in this book through touch and possibly kissing. Physical contact is likely, but with clothes on and lacking in sexual expression. While Lyzzy believes sex is awesome, some times you just want to read about holding hands and cuddling.

This story is sizzling: This story may contain some sexual tension but it will remain solidly PG13 on the page. Make-outs are likely, maybe some over the clothes touching, but anything else happens after a fade to black. As with the movie rating, some YA readers will have no problem with this material but if you’re the parent of a teen, have a look yourself. You’re the best judge on what your teens should and shouldn’t read. Stories will still contain queer content and non traditional relationships, so don’t worry that I won’t be pushing an agenda just because there isn’t any heavy petting.

This story is spicy: Speaking of heavy petting. Spicy stories will have sex on the page! You might see naughty words within the sex acts. Non traditional relationships may show up, including ladies being on top of their own desires or poly friends. Likewise, sex with trans hotties isn’t a kink, sorry not sorry. You likely won’t see lengthy descriptions of the acts, and I save kinky or BDSM sorts of material for scorching and on fire stories.

This story is scorching: Expect to see hot steamy naked acts on the page. Sex is only even half the story, but the sex is on the page. May contain consensual acts between adults in a wide variety of genders and sexual expression. This book is likely to contain kinky themes and consensual kinky acts.

This story is on fire: You’re here for the sex and that’s okay. Stories in this category will not focus much on relationships or Happily Ever After. These are stores about a character exploring their sexuality, and love has very little to do with it. These stories will be graphic and examine more taboo (but still consent driven) sex.

Now the Tendencies

You ever take one of those quizes that tell you what kind of internet cat you would be? Or that guess the year you were born based on your musical tastes? Or what position stars in the sky will effect you’re entire life like outsider horrors imposing their unknowable will on your misserable mortal life? Sorry. Astrology. I meant astrology. Anyway.

Leftists have that too, but we mostly base in on who’s books you liked the most or whatever grouping your ex boyfriend — he was a total shit — hates the most! I think they’re sometimes called tendencies. And that’s really funny to me. Because like, my tendency is to sleep with whoever and… Yeah. Anyway. For the sake of sorting shit out for people with a smaller spectrum of turn ons than my own, here’s some details beyond heat that might effect if a story is for you!

Why Choose: No love triangles here, thank you very much. Bi people loving people. Pan people loving people. Functional adults — must be nice — choosing ways of sharing their lives with one person or six!

Yes Ma’am: Women on top. Always and forever. Dommes. Mommies. Bad Bitches and Alpha Queens. I’ve got you the Hardest Femmes topping — literally or more subtly — all spectrums of gender and expression.

Trans-sciendental Experiences: I’m cis. My wife isn’t. Plenty of people I love and am attracted to aren’t cis. In romance and erotica, trans people can get shuffled into fetishes, best friends, or erased entierly. I mean, you do have trans people in your life, right? I bet you do, and if you don’t know any, that’s something you gotta stop and think about. Anyway, these books celebrate how hot, lovable, and wonderful trans partners can be.

Ladies Only: Space for ladies lovin’ only ladies in whatever way suits them both. When I say women, I mean women. All women. Cool? Cool. Note: I don’t write mlm at the moment because I think there are probably already cis queer women writing mlm for women audiences and that’s a pretty complicated space.

Keep it Fluid: Gender is a spectrum. Just because I’m one of the binary genders doesn’t mean I dismiss or do not value people who live their fullest lives outside of that binary. Enby, bigendered, fluid, and many many more expressions of gender are not only welcome in the revolution, but necessarily a part of it! We can’t just tolerate, we must celebrate.